Everyone’s Busy — Reflections On How We Rush Our Lives

The sun bounced off something shiny on my morning walk the other day. My eyes flickered. When I refocused, I stopped to look down at the concrete path and noticed a neat row of ants playing follow the leader. One of them was piggy backing a metallic silver square about the size of a child’s front tooth.

I’ve always been fascinated how ants can carry things ten times their own size, and I don’t remember ever seeing one of those little black bugs keep still. Ants always appear to be so damn busy. I walked on, but those tiny creatures got me thinking about how ‘being busy’ has become a weirdly accepted social norm.

‘So how have you both been?’

My husband asked some friends who were visiting us recently. Finn chose to be the spokesperson for the couple.

‘Oh yeh, we’ve been really busy. We’ve had a lot going on.’

I noticed his body language. He squeezed his knuckles as he said it. There was no eye contact and no joy in his tone. I sensed there was much more buried beneath the surface of his words.

It’s so familiar to hear people respond with some version of ‘It’s been busy,’ or ‘I’ve just been soooooo busy,’ when asked ‘What have you been up to?’ we have become numb to the phrase. So why is it that we feel the need to prove our busyness? I’m not sure why our friends responded this way? I can only draw on my own experiences, so I looked back to search for some reasons that I’ve proclaimed my ‘busyness’ in the past.

1) To justify my lack of time management

2) When I’ve felt bad for not catching up more frequently with loved ones

3) When I’ve been disappointed in myself for not living up to unrealistic expectations of what I should be doing

4) To protect myself and not have to disclose my true feelings

5) To impress others with the pace of my own life

6) When my ego needed to reply in a way where I would be accepted, not rejected

7) When I’ve been on autopilot. (Just like ‘good thanks,’ often automatically follows ‘How are you?’ no matter what the truth is). Maybe it’s that simple… or

8) When I’ve actually been really busy

Time is the only commodity that is one hundred percent equal for all of us. Whether we are the President, a parent, a CEO, an office worker, doing a meditation, or writing a book, we are all filling the same twenty-four hours with activities and tasks that are important to us at a particular moment. It seems ridiculous that we are all eager to convince each other how busy we are, when we all have exactly the same amount of time. Of course, there are exceptions and extraordinary circumstances, but often we don’t realise the degree to which we have chosen the pace of our own life.

We have a sense of purpose when we are working towards a goal or are in the process of accomplishing something. No one actually cares how busy we are, but there is a trend to meet each other in overwhelm. We have learned to connect in our struggles and whine in our hardship. We downplay our excitement and refrain from sharing our fun experiences so others feel more comfortable.

It’s always helpful to observe the behaviour of children prior to their ego fully developing. Before they have become obsessed with comparison. Kids don’t tell us how busy they’ve been when asked what they have been up to. They either say… ‘noth-ing,’ or open their eyes wide as they list all the playing and creating, they’ve enjoyed. Kids don’t feel guilty. They tell it how it is.

We should also be able to experience periods of rest without feeling like we will be judged if we are not on the go go go. Our thoughts influence our body. Our energy gets depleted when we are constantly busy. The simple act of not thinking or speaking the words, ‘I’m so busy,’ can reduce your stress levels, so you don’t feel as swamped when you envisage your to-do list. All of us have a lot going on. It’s just different stuff. I look forward to the day when saying ‘Not that much,’ or ‘I’ve been relaxing actually,’ when others ask ‘What have you been up to?’ is as universally accepted as being busy.

I’ve always had a fascination with human behaviour and rituals. I’m also curious to know at what point in history this strange pattern began. Can we blame the internet, social media, or the increased competition when women became more active in the workforce? Who knows the reason for this cultural shift? Sometimes we don’t need the answers but it’s interesting to enquire and notice our subconscious behaviour. We can only make changes when we have awareness. It is only from this place, that we can imagine and implement a more authentic future.

Next time you ask someone how they are, listen for the ‘busy’ response. Try it out. Just for fun. Love yourself enough to be present in whatever stage of life you are in, without the need to justify how busy you are.

I’m not special. You’re not special… Everyone’s busy. Even the ants.

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